I have always liked to think of myself as a bit of a feminist. Being a woman, I have always had a passion for gender equality and I have always been aware of the societal stereotypes thrown upon me from an early age. More recently, the #metoo movement and the Sarah Everard case has made me even more aware of the challenges facing women in this modern age and research has shown a clear link between gender stereotyping and gender based violence towards women and girls.
Similarly, everyone I know has had their health and wellbeing impacted majorly by the recent pandemic. I have heard of so many young suicides and attempted suicides in the local area. Research has also shown that gender stereotyping is directly linked to a higher suicide rate in men, as society has instilled in men from a young age that is a weakness to show and talk about feelings.
If we want to address these issues, for me, gender equality is key and it has to start in the early years. When The Nurture Nursery opened 3 years ago, we decided as a team, that we would always have a progressive outlook to childcare and education – challenging the norms and conventional expectations of a traditional nursery. As part of this, we wanted to ensure that children’s experiences at nursery were not limited by their gender.
We started with the basics! How many children’s books have to you read where girls are portrayed as ‘damsels in distress’ – princesses waiting to be rescued (or even kissed) by a white knight? Or children’s books where the female character has a particular role – a wife, mother, teacher, nurse. How many books, cast the male as a superhero and fearless, strong character? Think of snow white or superman. These books subconsciously provide children with these gender stereotypes, sometimes before they are even aware of their gender! Limiting how children can imagine their future and putting them a disadvantage before their life has barely begun. Therefore, we carefully scrutinised our books (as we now do regularly) and made sure we had books with independent, inspiring female characters such as ‘Ada Twist Scientist’ and books that show males in sensitive and caregiving roles too such as ‘It takes Two to Tango’ (I know this book is about penguins, but it is such a lovely story about 2 males caring for an infant).
We then looked at our other resources. It’s worth noting before I go on, that creating a gender equal environment is not about forcing children to do things they don’t want to do. Boys can still play football, girls can still dress up as princesses. It is about ensuring that no child feels any option is closed off to them because of their gender.
In our dressing up baskets, we introduced lots of different materials – vibrant coloured silks, tea towels, cosy blankets. Instead of pre-made dresses or costumes, as well as stimulating creativity for the children, this ensured that there was no pre-made illusions of gender and the children would imagine they were anything they wanted to be. They children have spent many fun hours creating costumes for stage shows, tying materials together to make togas and literally walking around with sheets over their heads pretending to be ghosts!
Another thing which is key in promoting gender equality is the language we use as adults. Language can be incredibly powerful. Its said that they way adults speak to us as children can often become our inner voice. At nursery, we agreed not to use language such as ‘the boys are being rough’ or ‘play nicely with the girls’. This attributes certain behaviours to a specific gender. We also continuously talk to our boys so they know it’s okay to cry and be scared as well as talking to our girls so they know it’s okay to be angry and to express that anger. We try our best to use inclusive language such as ‘hello everyone’ rather than ‘hello boys and girls’.
It’s a sad fact of life that girls and women are often stereotyped by the way they look. In a society where a teenage girls worth can be based on the how many likes their filtered Instagram picture can get, it is more important now that ever that we instil a strong sense of self-worth in the early years, based on a child’s achievement and skills. Again, language is so important for this. At The Nurture Nursery, we make a conscious effort to praise children on what they do, rather than how they look. For example, ‘I like your skipping’ rather than ‘I like your hair’. This is such a simple substitute but is so powerful is defining the source of a child’s self worth.
Although we try to promote gender equality at nursery, there will always be outside influences on our children which will affect them, such as marketing adverts or adults who don’t share the same gender equal views, maybe an older generation. This does often mean that children themselves, can voice opinions such as ‘girls can’t do this’ or ‘boys can’t do that’. Just yesterday, I heard my own 6 year old daughter telling her boy cousin that he couldn’t have pink nail polish because it was only for girls – something that we have never said to her. We ALWAYS challenge these views and discuss it with the children as it arises. We don’t just say ‘that’s not right’, we talk about why the child feels this way and encourage them to see it differently. By doing it this way, we are encouraging the children to think deeper on their own already developed stereotypical ideas and challenge them, if they can learn do this, they will then have the confidence to challenge these ideas with others also as they grow.
One of the final things we decided to always do, which seems like such a simple thing, is we ask all parents to ensure their children come dressed appropriately for nursery. We spend the large majority of the day outdoors, as we have such a stimulating garden space. We ask that children come in practical clothes that allow them to run, jump and climb. We ask that they come in old clothes that children can freely get dirt and paint on. You might wonder how this relates to gender equality. Simple, a boy climbs a tree in trainers and shorts, a girl climbs the same tree in a dress and sandals – who do you think climbed the highest?
